This is a copy of some wonderful words I received on a yahoo group on a day when I was questioning what we were embarking upon.
I read this post and felt compelled to reply. Because...I HAVE adopted babies and older children. AND our adoption in process is of an older child.
So first, in a nutshell. The bio file you get may not all be accurate, it will cost you a lot of money to adopt and you will feel like you are in a nightmare occasionally. BUT the file doesn't matter, the money doesn't matter and occasionally nightmares come with or without kids so they don't matter either. What does matter?
YOU will be the first woman to love him like a mommy and hug him and tell him so. YOU will be the first to hold him when he is sick, scared, confused and lost. He won't know how to love you back at first but I promise you that when he learns how and comes to hug you "first", you will never be the same person.
Now, after four adoptions I have had plenty of critisizms from family, friends and strangers. My first encounter was on the plane home from Ch*na holding my baby girl. But the thing is if someone isn't called to adopt an orphan they will NEVER understand and you can never convince them or make them understand your point. It is most disheartening when family such as parents are not supportive. I can only tell you I have been there and it will change. Their hearts will change. Imagine if you were called to be a missionary in the Artic, no one would understand that! Not even me. But no one else has to. Just you and HIM.
Our last adoption was 2 years ago and he was 10. Has it been lollipops and hopscotch! NOPE, not everyday. Have I ever regretted adopting him? NOPE, not one day. Because I am the adult and I know what he doesn't. And even when he was angry that someone gave him away and I don't serve fried duck feet or he MUST shower and brush his teeth everyday...I know he is loved safe and cared for and he too will understand fully one day. But I can tell you my oldest child is a bio 19 year old at college and it wasn't lollipops and hopscotch everyday either. LOL
The fact your heart has led you to adopt says volumes about you and indicates that you can handle it. Be prepared to be disliked. It's hard for a child. Imagine right now someone drops you in the middle of Ch*na. You don't know a single person, word or place. So be prepared for him to feel distant. But be patient and don't let your feelings cloud your reason. Don't take anything personally and know he loves you, he just might not know it yet!
And after all of that I want to say. He could run to your arms and never want to leave. I have one of them too! And btw, both are boys from Ch*na. Just be prepared for controlled chaos!
PSS-My son came to the United States on 7/31 and went to public school on 8/7. That was his choice (per a translator). He only knew the word dinosaur! Be prepared for any and everyhing and know you are making an orphan a cheristed little boy!
Here are a couple more photos of OUR lil' man...
Blessings,
Georgia