We received Sarah and Emmy's passports in the mail today. Funny how something so little can create such a strong feeling of reality. Some days the whole adoption thing just doesn't seem real at all. Hearing from Meredith yesterday with her "in person" contact with Ian combined with receiving these little passport books today helps fill that void that seems to come and go. I'm thankful. Hopefully Monday we'll have approval on our Home Study and we can get that I800A sent out.
Have to share the second e-mail from this sweet mom... I'm so encouraged. I had asked her if she heard Ian speak at all...
I can say for SURE that he was talking and that the nannies were having a conversation with him while we were there. Of course, I don't know Chinese, so I couldn't tell you how good his language was! But, he definitely can and does talk! I cannot exlain enough how precious he was. He was wearing like an argyle sweater, corduroy pants- all matching! Like they had just taken him to the department store and bought him all new clothes and gotten a haircut! SO CUTE!!!
I think one of the coolest things about the adoption process is experiencing the hearts of the adoptive moms I'm meeting along the way. I just received an email from a mom who is currently in China picking up her son. She visited the facility where Ian lives and through a friend obtained my email address and wrote to me. I'm amazed that she not only was extremely observant in her visit, but that she was kind and thoughtful enough to take time DURING her trip to stop and write me...a total stranger... and give me insight about our son. God bless you Meredith and thank you for warming my heart today.
This is what she wrote:
You don't know me, but I am in Changsha
now we just adopted our son Samuel this week from Hengyang City SWI. Today we
visited the orphanage and I wanted to let you know that I saw your sweet
son!! (Erin gave me your email) I could kick myself for not getting any
pictures of him. Our son was not on the ICC side, but your son is, and I wasn't
taking pictures when I was on that side by the time I got down to his
BUT....I have to tell you that your son is JUST ADORABLE! He has a brand
new bowl haircut and was wearing a little red white and blue outfit all while
eating a TON of rice and vegetables! He looks so healthy, that at first we
thought he was one of the worker's children, not a child at the orphanage!! We
mentioned how precious he was, and Kyla told us that he had a family in the US.
I really cannot say enough about how cute he is. Just super handsome. You are
one lucky momma! Out of all the kiddos we saw today your son really stands
Today is our last day of spring break here in sunny Florida. It's been a mixture of a productive and relaxing week. As we are preparing to go back to school tomorrow, there are so many things I could be and should be doing. Yet... I find myself surfing the web about different things having to do with Ch*na. Seems silly I know, but I have this desire to know what the weather is like there now and at different times of the year, what the difference is in the cost of airfare from month to month, what's the shortest amount of time required for us to stay in Ch*na when we go to pick Ian up. My hope is that by the time I get done writing this little blog entry, I'll have my Ch*na fix for the day and be able to move on with other things. Staying focused is definiately a challenge and one that I think I will be struggling with for the coming months until we bring Ian home. So for those of you who know me and see me regularly, if I'm a little "spaced out", you'll know why!
You know, some days are so great and others are a drag. We get ourselves all excited about some piece or pieces of paperwork that have processed through their necessary stage and then... BAM... there's another one we have WAIT for. I started to let myself get frustrated and sad by this and then I had a realization... an epiphany of sorts. If we had just recently announced that I was pregnant and expecting our third biological child, we would have 9 months to wait for the wonderful arrival of our new lil' Jekabsons. Sure an expecting mommy gets uncomfortable at the end and can't wait for that delivery, but we go along with it to the end, celebrating the victory when that bundle arrives! Well... my new outlook is the same now with Ian. (for today, anyhow) This is our "paper pregnancy". It is different in many ways, but similar in others. From this point on, I am going to try to focus on the blessings of the "pregnancy" while we wade through the bureaucracy and paperwork approaching delivery day, known as "Gotcha Day" in the adoption arena. It's going to be some long months ahead as we wait, but that "Gotcha Day" with Ian will be worth it!
This is a copy of some wonderful words I received on a yahoo group on a day when I was questioning what we were embarking upon.
I read this post and felt compelled to reply. Because...I HAVE adopted babies and older children. AND our adoption in process is of an older child.
So first, in a nutshell. The bio file you get may not all be accurate, it will cost you a lot of money to adopt and you will feel like you are in a nightmare occasionally. BUT the file doesn't matter, the money doesn't matter and occasionally nightmares come with or without kids so they don't matter either. What does matter?
YOU will be the first woman to love him like a mommy and hug him and tell him so. YOU will be the first to hold him when he is sick, scared, confused and lost. He won't know how to love you back at first but I promise you that when he learns how and comes to hug you "first", you will never be the same person.
Now, after four adoptions I have had plenty of critisizms from family, friends and strangers. My first encounter was on the plane home from Ch*na holding my baby girl. But the thing is if someone isn't called to adopt an orphan they will NEVER understand and you can never convince them or make them understand your point. It is most disheartening when family such as parents are not supportive. I can only tell you I have been there and it will change. Their hearts will change. Imagine if you were called to be a missionary in the Artic, no one would understand that! Not even me. But no one else has to. Just you and HIM.
Our last adoption was 2 years ago and he was 10. Has it been lollipops and hopscotch! NOPE, not everyday. Have I ever regretted adopting him? NOPE, not one day. Because I am the adult and I know what he doesn't. And even when he was angry that someone gave him away and I don't serve fried duck feet or he MUST shower and brush his teeth everyday...I know he is loved safe and cared for and he too will understand fully one day. But I can tell you my oldest child is a bio 19 year old at college and it wasn't lollipops and hopscotch everyday either. LOL
The fact your heart has led you to adopt says volumes about you and indicates that you can handle it. Be prepared to be disliked. It's hard for a child. Imagine right now someone drops you in the middle of Ch*na. You don't know a single person, word or place. So be prepared for him to feel distant. But be patient and don't let your feelings cloud your reason. Don't take anything personally and know he loves you, he just might not know it yet!
And after all of that I want to say. He could run to your arms and never want to leave. I have one of them too! And btw, both are boys from Ch*na. Just be prepared for controlled chaos!
PSS-My son came to the United States on 7/31 and went to public school on 8/7. That was his choice (per a translator). He only knew the word dinosaur! Be prepared for any and everyhing and know you are making an orphan a cheristed little boy!
So here I am. Not sure if we should blog or not. But I have so enjoyed looking at the blogs of other waiting families, that I feel like I almost have a responsibility to do it also. So here goes nothing...
February 8th 2012 changed our family's world. We were happy...living the dream... I had just finished my degree in December and got my new contract at work, Jeff's job was going great, the girls were doing their thing in school and dance. Life was good! But God had another plan... a BIGGER plan.
In January, my friend Erin talked briefly with me about adoption. Jeff and I had talked about it years ago. We always said that if we wanted a son, we could always adopt. So Erin started sending me information. The stories were sad, the children were beautiful, and Jeff and I were feeling a bit of a tug at our hearts. We weren't sure what was in store, but we were sure that IF we were ever going to adopt, it would need to be a boy who was already schoolage....preschool or kindergarten. So that's what I told Erin. The baby pictures slowed down. But then on February 8th, I received an email with "Had to send" in the subject line... I read the little story about a child the foster organization called "Mu Mu" and I read about his special needs and the fact that he likes to "perform". Then I looked at the photos! I was captured... hook... line and sinker! I felt it immediately in my heart... MuMu was our son! I shared it with Jeff and to my surprise, his reaction was the same! And so... the story begins...